Tag: changeyourlife

The Need for Change

Change can be scary sometimes, especially if there is an unknown future. However, for some reason, I absolutely love change. Yes, I still get the anxious feeling when there’s uncertainty in how things will change, but in general, I am quite comfortable with it. I am writing this post for those of you who have a hard time with change and would like to know how some people manage it.

I learned to adapt at a young age.

I think my comfort with change comes from moving to a few different towns growing up. I would have to get used to a new room in a new house in a new neighbourhood and go to a new school with new people. Then once I was in university, I would have a new living space a few times a year – from dorms to my parent’s house to an apartment back to my parents house, to a basement suite to a upper level rental and back to my parent’s house.

I got used to moving around so much that I found it difficult to stay in one place, almost as if I needed more stimulation. I randomly decided to move to Kelowna so I would be forced to learn a whole new way of living. I’ve already lived in 4 different places in the 4 years that I’ve been here, and with each place I’ve managed to adapt to it and make a new routine.

I couldn’t imagine permanently settling down in a house… If I ever do that, I’m sure I would be doing some sort of renovation every couple of years as I would need a change of scenery.

I have a wild imagination.

I think that having a creative, imaginative mind has a hard time sticking to the same routine, schedule, and surroundings for long periods of time. I enjoy having variety in my life and can get bored easily if I’ve had the same routine for a while. This eventually causes me to try something new, after having a pity party that nothing is interesting anymore.

I’m still trying to understand myself, because sometimes it causes me to make impulsive decisions and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. I mean, the easiest way for something to change is to take a risk and see what happens, right?

I am open-minded.

Since I’ve seen many different ways of living and have learned to adapt to them, I have developed an open mind. I like to listen and understand others’ point of view and thoughts. For those that I don’t agree with, I still try to rationalize why they might think that way to avoid conflict and arguments. This can be both a blessing and a curse – yes, it makes it easier to get along with people and be likable, but it also causes me to be vulnerable to getting hurt by people who take advantage of my passive approach.

That being said, I believe being open-minded is the easiest way to adapt to change. If you have a hard time doing this, try to switch from judgement and assumptions to taking a moment to look at a situation with a different angle. You are not always right.

No matter what, change will cause personal growth.

I have to admit – the adult life has definitely made the feeling of change a lot more difficult. I have developed an absurd level of anxiety that I am learning how to manage. I never used to be this way, and was always open to new things. I can now understand how others who aren’t so used to change might feel. It’s a lot more comfortable having a certain level of security.

That being said, despite how I think about the world now, I still remain optimistic about change. It might be more of an emotional struggle than it used to be, but I always come out on the positive side of things and look forward to a new future. I think the only way we can be comfortable with change is to be grateful about the past, and to find the positive things about the future and be excited to learn something new about yourself.

I think it’s important to see who you are in different situations, because you may just surprise yourself. Maybe you find out what you’re not good at, what you don’t like, and who you can’t get along with, but that is still a move in the right direction. We focus so much on making the right move to see what we are good at, do something we like, and be around people that become our best friends – but we only learn to appreciate these things by experiencing the opposite.

Change is inevitable.

Life will constantly change and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. Whether it’s a slow, gradual change, a quick abrupt change, intentional or not, we will be forced to adapt and move forward. As long as you trust yourself that you will be okay, you will certainly be able to figure out a new way of survival and thrive.

The Joy of the Morning – Where Did it Go?

Source: https://www.poynter.org/tech-tools/2019/in-praise-of-the-morning-newsletter/

When I was young, my favourite time of day was the morning. I would immediately spring out of bed as soon as I opened my eyes, full of energy and excitement. I loved waking up to the sun shining in my room and knowing that my parents were already awake and starting their coffee. I loved all breakfast foods – breakfast used to be something I needed to have as soon as I woke up. I got to start a new day and choose what I feel like wearing, how I want to do my hair and I would think of all the things I can play all day. The smell of the fresh air in the morning especially in the spring and summer brings back so many memories and can be considered a part of my “happy place”. I definitely didn’t need coffee as a child because I had all the energy I needed. Even when I was at sleepovers, I would always be the first one awake and would have to sit and wait for everyone else to wake up. Going on trips with my family I was definitely way too excited most of the time and would easily wake up early and keep everyone on track.

Now, as an adult, I’ve experienced far too many sleep deprived, stressed out, anxious mornings where I absolutely dread waking up and starting my day. I feel tired, ugly, unmotivated and would rather just lay in bed all day. I don’t want to think about what to wear, my hair sucks and I couldn’t be bothered to wear make up. I skip breakfast a lot of the time now, partially to shorten the amount of hours I am eating, but also to save money. Most of the time when I am on my way to my car to drive to work, I just walk directly in a straight line and I don’t notice anything around me. Not the smells, the flowers, nothing – just dreading about how I have to show up to work and do the same old thing. On the weekends all I want to do is sleep in and go to bed early. The only thing that seems to remain from childhood is the fact that I get excited to travel and will still happily wake up early – the only difference is now I have room to stress out about my flights and everything that could go wrong.

If it’s not obvious at this point, the morning seemed a lot happier as a child. So what happened? You could say as you get older, your energy levels change among other things that happen in adulthood. I think that it’s a result of all of the baggage that starts to weigh you down. Anything and everything that has contributed to fear, anger, embarrassment, guilt, shame, or any negative memory definitely makes it difficult to want to jump out of bed and take on the world.

Now that I’m laid off and in quarantine, I have had a lot of time to think about things. I refuse to accept that my life will look the way it does in adulthood so I’ve been brainstorming how to bring back my love for the morning. I have really started to break down my habits to see how I can improve upon them. This is what I would like to share with you.

1. Phones are for Alarms Only

Yes, it feels good to wake up and see all of your new notifications and to check all of your favourite apps. It’s extra good when you are nice and warm in your bed and know that you have 15 minutes before you absolutely NEED to get out of bed. However, this also runs the risk of all the negative things you might accidentally see on your phone whether it’s news, someone’s highlight reel, or even just the temperature outside. So perhaps if we just don’t look at our phones at all, other than to turn off our alarm, nothing bad can happen to our precious mornings.

2. Gratitude Actually Works

Now that we have gotten rid of any chance of getting negative thoughts in our heads, begin the morning with thinking about what you are grateful for. You can even say it out loud. If you have a partner/spouse you can take this time to tell them what you appreciate about them. Usually, we would both go on our phones and/or complain about how we hate working. It makes a world of difference to just wake up, look each other in the eyes and say why we love one another. But gratitude can be anything really. Maybe you’re happy to have functional hands, or that you have food in the fridge, or that you are alive and breathing! This can be a very humbling experience and leaves no room for negativity.

3. Routine is Everything

I’m sure most of you know that your body functions much better when you stick to a routine. Going to bed at the same time and waking up at the same time helps regulate your circadian rhythm. Even doing this throughout the weekend is important. When I am working this is definitely something I find to be quite difficult. I honestly think it comes down to my routine at night which is also something that I’ve been working on – I might have to make a separate post about this. The more overwhelmed with work I get throughout the week, the more I want to stay up drowning myself in memes or TV shows until late at night when I should really be taking more drastic measures for relaxation – baths, yoga, dim lights etc. More on this later, but for this post, waking up at the same time every day will eventually lead to not even needing an alarm. When I am going solid on a routine and going to bed at an appropriate time, I find myself waking up a few minutes before my alarm every day. This is definitely more ideal than hearing the sound of an annoying wake up call.

4. The Perfect Morning

Instead of thinking about how the mornings used to go and how much they suck now, I’ve had time to realize that I can make my mornings go the way I want to and to figure out what my perfect morning would look like. This is as easy as writing out the problems and coming up with solutions.

Problem #1 – Feeling exhausted
Solution – Stick to a routine, make sure to get enough hours of sleep

Problem #2 – Feeling unmotivated
Solution – Insert gratitude here and everything else will follow. You don’t have to be motivated for something specific every day, as long as you keep moving forward.

Problem #3 – Feeling “ugly”
Solution – Take the time to wash your face or shower, brush your hair, wear something nice, anything that might make you feel better.

Problem #4 – Nothing to look forward to
Solution – What’s something that you would look forward to on a beautiful morning on the weekend? For me, it’s a nice cup of coffee or tea. For some reason, it’s a guarantee that I will have a better morning if I can to sit and enjoy the flavour of a nice warm beverage. Most mornings I am driving or at work while I’m drinking my coffee… both not ideal to truly enjoy it. I also love food… giving myself enough time to make a meal and find time to enjoy it makes a world of difference.

Problem #5 – Tunnel vision
Solution – Stop and smell the flowers. You don’t literally have to do this exact thing, but make a habit of noticing something around you. Stay in the present moment to get out of your head. For me, I need to remember to smell the fresh air and enjoy it the way I did as a child. It’s a quick reminder about all the good things that life has to offer.

I hope that you can find ways to appreciate every day, and enjoy each and every morning among the chaos that can be overwhelming in every day life. We all deserve to live a happy fulfilled life, so why not start to give your mind and body what you deserve. I truly think changing some habits and having a different mindset each morning will only provide positive benefits. If you have other ideas on how to make each and every morning the best one yet, please leave your ideas in the comments below.