Every once in a while I have the sudden realization that I’m taking life way too seriously. Unfortunately this usually comes in one big wave and I have to take a step back and kind of laugh. Why do I care so much about so many stupid little things?
The thoughts that tend to take over are usually just trying to make sense of life itself and plan accordingly. Everything from health to finance to emotions to career path to purpose… it’s so easy to try and understand, then make plans and goals and lose sight of the bigger picture.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what you end up doing or howyou end up doing it. My most fond memories come from taking risks and not being so serious about my life. Being goofy around my favourite people and then laughing about nothing with them, being the coolest auntie on the block to my niece and nephew and becoming a kid again, trying new things for the first time to challenge myself, and pushing boundaries with what I already know. The most recent time I came to this realization was when I went rock climbing with my family this year.
I have gone rock climbing a few times growing up, but I never made it up to the top of the wall. I kept going about life just accepting that it’s not for me and I will never make it up. However, when I went with my family it was during a time that I was stressed out about life in general and having a hard time coping with it. Suddenly, my fear of heights and falling didn’t seem worse than the anxiety I had been experiencing all day every day, so I made it all the way to the top with ease. I completely surprised myself and it felt so good to accomplish.
It was a nice slap in the face that life is supposed to be fun, challenging, adventurous, and inspiring. I thought my days of rock climbing were behind me, because it was always something that we did with our school. It was a nice reminder about how exciting it is to try something new, and that the every day “problems” don’t really matter. This was just one example of many, but if you feel like you’ve been stressing out over way too many things all day every day, remember to take a step back and realize that you are, in fact, taking life too seriously.
One thing I have learned about myself is that I need to make sure other people are also not taking things too seriously because I know what it feels like when we do. I strive to surround myself with people that have the same mindset because I know that it will benefit everyone in times that we need it the most.
We all have days where we feel low energy and are feeling a bit more negative than usual. On days like these, it’s important to first recognize that it’s okay to feel this way and that it won’t last forever. I am also learning that finding quick and easy ways to get a burst of dopamine also isn’t helpful. I’ve noticed that I look at my phone 10x more often when I’m feeling like this, not even realizing that I just keep going through the same apps over and over again.
Thankfully, I’m starting to recognize that I do this and that it’s not helping me at all. After this realization, I started to ponder what will actually get me in a good mood and I wanted to share these ideas with you
1. Get up and move
It doesn’t really matter how or where or what you do, but moving will immediately force your thoughts to keep moving forward. Also, any amount of endorphins will change your mood for the better.
I will do anything from putting in a load of laundry to going on a hike so I don’t stay in a rut. It might take a while to become self-aware and realize what you’re doing is negatively affecting you, but once you are able to recognize it the next step is to physically move out of it.
2. Make yourself laugh
I laugh at myself all the time, whether it’s because I did something stupid or because I think a joke I made was really funny… but sometimes I forget this “talent” when I’m feeling down. A couple of tricks I use (which may not be for everyone) is to dance like an idiot by myself or around my boyfriend. I also will break into character and sing terribly, but it usually makes me laugh.
3. Make someone smile
Nothing feels better than making another person smile or laugh, so sometimes when you can’t do it for yourself, try doing it for someone else! I’m lucky to have quite a few #1 fans of mine (my family) that I find super easy to entertain. It’s also easy to show love towards them which will obviously make them smile.
4. Be spontaneous
Perhaps you’ve just become bored out of your mind and that’s why you want to stay on the couch all day. This is the perfect time to think outside the box to switch up what you’ve gotten used to. For example, one day I made a living room picnic to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I put down a blanket, put out place mats, poured some beer, and lit a candle. We ate leftover pizza… Nothing fancy at all but it became fun because I switched up our routine.
5. Find reliable mood changers
There are a few things that will immediately get me in a better mood other than the above that I can always rely on. This includes going on a drive with loud music (my boyfriend and I often do this when we are feeling down), meeting up with friends even if I “don’t feel like it”, going out for dinner instead of cooking (restaurants in Kelowna are opening back up now! Yay!), and phone calls with my #1 fans.
I hope these ideas will help you get out of the dopamine rush you are looking for and provide a genuine, positive feeling. I would love to hear how you get yourself back up after feeling down in the comments below!
When I was young, my favourite time of day was the morning. I would immediately spring out of bed as soon as I opened my eyes, full of energy and excitement. I loved waking up to the sun shining in my room and knowing that my parents were already awake and starting their coffee. I loved all breakfast foods – breakfast used to be something I needed to have as soon as I woke up. I got to start a new day and choose what I feel like wearing, how I want to do my hair and I would think of all the things I can play all day. The smell of the fresh air in the morning especially in the spring and summer brings back so many memories and can be considered a part of my “happy place”. I definitely didn’t need coffee as a child because I had all the energy I needed. Even when I was at sleepovers, I would always be the first one awake and would have to sit and wait for everyone else to wake up. Going on trips with my family I was definitely way too excited most of the time and would easily wake up early and keep everyone on track.
Now, as an adult, I’ve experienced far too many sleep deprived, stressed out, anxious mornings where I absolutely dread waking up and starting my day. I feel tired, ugly, unmotivated and would rather just lay in bed all day. I don’t want to think about what to wear, my hair sucks and I couldn’t be bothered to wear make up. I skip breakfast a lot of the time now, partially to shorten the amount of hours I am eating, but also to save money. Most of the time when I am on my way to my car to drive to work, I just walk directly in a straight line and I don’t notice anything around me. Not the smells, the flowers, nothing – just dreading about how I have to show up to work and do the same old thing. On the weekends all I want to do is sleep in and go to bed early. The only thing that seems to remain from childhood is the fact that I get excited to travel and will still happily wake up early – the only difference is now I have room to stress out about my flights and everything that could go wrong.
If it’s not obvious at this point, the morning seemed a lot happier as a child. So what happened? You could say as you get older, your energy levels change among other things that happen in adulthood. I think that it’s a result of all of the baggage that starts to weigh you down. Anything and everything that has contributed to fear, anger, embarrassment, guilt, shame, or any negative memory definitely makes it difficult to want to jump out of bed and take on the world.
Now that I’m laid off and in quarantine, I have had a lot of time to think about things. I refuse to accept that my life will look the way it does in adulthood so I’ve been brainstorming how to bring back my love for the morning. I have really started to break down my habits to see how I can improve upon them. This is what I would like to share with you.
1. Phones are for Alarms Only
Yes, it feels good to wake up and see all of your new notifications and to check all of your favourite apps. It’s extra good when you are nice and warm in your bed and know that you have 15 minutes before you absolutely NEED to get out of bed. However, this also runs the risk of all the negative things you might accidentally see on your phone whether it’s news, someone’s highlight reel, or even just the temperature outside. So perhaps if we just don’t look at our phones at all, other than to turn off our alarm, nothing bad can happen to our precious mornings.
2. Gratitude Actually Works
Now that we have gotten rid of any chance of getting negative thoughts in our heads, begin the morning with thinking about what you are grateful for. You can even say it out loud. If you have a partner/spouse you can take this time to tell them what you appreciate about them. Usually, we would both go on our phones and/or complain about how we hate working. It makes a world of difference to just wake up, look each other in the eyes and say why we love one another. But gratitude can be anything really. Maybe you’re happy to have functional hands, or that you have food in the fridge, or that you are alive and breathing! This can be a very humbling experience and leaves no room for negativity.
3. Routine is Everything
I’m sure most of you know that your body functions much better when you stick to a routine. Going to bed at the same time and waking up at the same time helps regulate your circadian rhythm. Even doing this throughout the weekend is important. When I am working this is definitely something I find to be quite difficult. I honestly think it comes down to my routine at night which is also something that I’ve been working on – I might have to make a separate post about this. The more overwhelmed with work I get throughout the week, the more I want to stay up drowning myself in memes or TV shows until late at night when I should really be taking more drastic measures for relaxation – baths, yoga, dim lights etc. More on this later, but for this post, waking up at the same time every day will eventually lead to not even needing an alarm. When I am going solid on a routine and going to bed at an appropriate time, I find myself waking up a few minutes before my alarm every day. This is definitely more ideal than hearing the sound of an annoying wake up call.
4. The Perfect Morning
Instead of thinking about how the mornings used to go and how much they suck now, I’ve had time to realize that I can make my mornings go the way I want to and to figure out what my perfect morning would look like. This is as easy as writing out the problems and coming up with solutions.
Problem #1 – Feeling exhausted Solution – Stick to a routine, make sure to get enough hours of sleep
Problem #2 – Feeling unmotivated Solution – Insert gratitude here and everything else will follow. You don’t have to be motivated for something specific every day, as long as you keep moving forward.
Problem #3 – Feeling “ugly” Solution – Take the time to wash your face or shower, brush your hair, wear something nice, anything that might make you feel better.
Problem #4 – Nothing to look forward to Solution – What’s something that you would look forward to on a beautiful morning on the weekend? For me, it’s a nice cup of coffee or tea. For some reason, it’s a guarantee that I will have a better morning if I can to sit and enjoy the flavour of a nice warm beverage. Most mornings I am driving or at work while I’m drinking my coffee… both not ideal to truly enjoy it. I also love food… giving myself enough time to make a meal and find time to enjoy it makes a world of difference.
Problem #5 – Tunnel vision Solution – Stop and smell the flowers. You don’t literally have to do this exact thing, but make a habit of noticing something around you. Stay in the present moment to get out of your head. For me, I need to remember to smell the fresh air and enjoy it the way I did as a child. It’s a quick reminder about all the good things that life has to offer.
I hope that you can find ways to appreciate every day, and enjoy each and every morning among the chaos that can be overwhelming in every day life. We all deserve to live a happy fulfilled life, so why not start to give your mind and body what you deserve. I truly think changing some habits and having a different mindset each morning will only provide positive benefits. If you have other ideas on how to make each and every morning the best one yet, please leave your ideas in the comments below.
Ashley's Adventures 