Travelling Solo

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling — On my way to travelling solo

Travelling alone was something I’ve always wanted to do, to find new experiences and to prove to myself that I am capable of surviving on my own. After university, I decided to travel Europe for about 3 weeks. I didn’t end up doing the typical “backpacking” trip as I had wanted to do as there was still a little bit of fear around the idea. I honestly think I played it a little too safe on this trip because I didn’t do enough research on what I could do on my own. I would go on day trips around the city of Munich, Germany and I met some cool people in Austria who were pro kayakers. I visited a friend in London, did some walking tours and explored on my own every place I went. It was a little boring at times because I wasn’t sure where to go or what to spend my money on, but I was young and just wanted to go and try it out.

I had some family and friends that I was able to stay with, but I made sure to plan a trip alone to Prague, to truly get the experience I was looking for. This trip is what I would like to share with you as it turned out to be a good learning experience.

Alone in Prague

I decided to buy a bus ticket to Prague and just go for 4 days. I found a hostel to stay at after doing some research with my cousins. My expectations were to meet people around my age at the hostel and have a good time in Prague and explore together. It turned out to be a very mellow trip, but I learned a lot about myself while I was there.

Again, I failed to do very much research before heading to the Czech Republic because I just wanted to figure it out once I got there. It was at the point on my trip that I realized I wasn’t challenging myself enough, and was starting to feel disappointed that I wasn’t able to “find myself” through different experiences. When I arrived to Prague, I had no idea what type of currency they used and where to get it from. I also didn’t know where I was supposed to get off – thinking about it now kind of makes me laugh… with my level of anxiety that I have now there would be no way I wouldn’t do my full research before heading out on a trip. I ended up getting off at a train station and was VERY lost. It was the biggest most confusing building I’ve ever been in. Eventually, I found a currency exchange kiosk so I could get some Czech Crowns – I’m sure I got completely ripped off.

Once I found my way out of the building, I decided to completely avoid taxis as I knew I would for sure get ripped off from them. I had arrived in Prague at about 4pm so I needed to figure out where my hostel was before it got dark. I also wanted to make sure I found some food as I didn’t know when restaurants would close. I began walking through the city and got overly excited about everything. The streets and alleys are mapped out like a spider web, which didn’t make sense at all, but it was cool to see the old buildings and cobblestone streets. I walked through some sort of fair that had all kinds of food being made like pretzels and pork roast etc. so naturally I grabbed some for my journey to the hostel.

No photo description available. — Pork Roast

A couple of hours later, I arrived where the map said my hostel should be only to find that it wasn’t there… no signs anywhere. I went into the stores around the area and asked where it was, and no one seemed to know. A wave of panic set in as I could only think that is was some sort of scam that I fell for. I accepted defeat and began looking for a nearby hotel. As I was speaking to the front desk, the automatic glass door opened up and a stranger walking by overheard what I was saying. He came in and said “hey! I know where that hostel is!” So without thinking twice I decided to trust that he knew what he was talking about. He brought me to a set of doors that led to a store of some sort and told me to keep walking through to the back. I thanked him and with some hesitation I walked in. I went out the back, up some stairs in the alleyway and through a hallway. At last, I saw the sign and a beautiful lobby for the hostel I was seeking. How could anyone ever find this place?! I stayed in a female-only room and had a key to a drawer where I could keep all of my belongings. I was so relieved to find my hostel and finally be safe after a 5 hour bus ride and 3 hours of walking. I didn’t want to get lost or explore in the dark so I ended up going to bed at about 8:30pm.

I met a few American girls in my room and we decided to go do a walking tour together. We learned about the city and took some pictures of the beautiful scenery. It was so interesting to hear where we all came from and why we were in Prague at the exact moment as we were all travelling solo. I had a wonderful time getting to know them and I am still friends with them to this day. I did some shopping around the town, tried all different kinds of food, and eventually it was time to head back to Germany. I didn’t stay up late and have drinks with a bunch of new friends as I had thought, but I am glad I met those two girls and explored the city together.

Image may contain: 3 people, including BreAnne Emma Oja, people smiling — My American friends!

What I learned

I realized that I cannot rely on other people to have fun or to give me the experience of a life time. This is what I was looking for during my trip – someone else to make my solo travelling adventure absolutely amazing and life-changing. Not only that, but learning to accept that I don’t need a crazy adventure to learn about myself. I am still proud that I went on this trip, especially now that my views of the world are a bit more tainted and I would have a hard time making the move to travel solo again. I also learned that I am a lot more capable than I thought I was to make decisions, navigate, solve problems and stay safe. I think it was a really good idea for me to first travel to Europe alone, but also to force myself to have a completely solo trip to a country I knew nothing about.

Now that I have a boyfriend, who has never traveled alone, I am motivated to go with him to explore the world as I think everyone should be able to have that experience. I think it would be more fun to have someone there with me to enjoy the experiences with too. If you are scared of doing something on your own, I highly recommend going for it as long as you are smart and do your research, you will have no problem surviving in a different country.

The Mindset of Healthy Eating

It can be very confusing to know how to properly eat with all of the social media, opinions on the internet and keeping up with the new trends. It wasn’t until the last few years, especially after my experience as a personal trainer, that I started taking my nutrition more seriously. Obviously it helped actually feeling the results of super clean eating when I did the Whole30 diet, but now my main focus is how eating healthy can change my energy and mood. It always seemed like something you would do to get a nice looking body, but I have always been an average size so it was something that never affected the way I eat. I will always continue to learn more about what my diet would ideally look like, but I think at the same time we all need to put less pressure on ourselves.

It’s okay to make mistakes

There are so many factors that contribute to the way you eat every day. How you slept, what time of the month it is (for the ladies), what your job entails, the people around you, Western culture, who you live with, peer pressure from friends, all while trying to have the will power to not eat a freshly baked cookie that is sitting on a pretty plate at your grandma’s house.

Yes, it’s you who can control what you put in your mouth in the end, but as humans we are wired to socialize and do what everyone else is doing. I’m pretty sure there was no tribe that had someone who only ate blueberries because they were on a diet, they most definitely also ate the kill of the day. The problem now is that we have access to everything all the time. And so does your family, and your friends, and your coworkers, and everyone is all confused about what we should eat. I guarantee every person that I mentioned knows fairly well about how they “should” eat.

I think we all just need to support each other with any choice that we make. If a friend doesn’t want to have alcohol, don’t buy them a drink at the bar. If someone wants to be on a diet, let them be on a diet and don’t judge them for it. If your vegan friend wants to try fish, that’s okay too. There are so many opinions out there to worry about that it’s nearly impossible not to make a so-called “mistake.”

Find what works for you

Without thinking of other people, or what the internet is saying, just try to stop and think about what type of eating would make you happy. For me, I am trying to learn how to make more meals homemade because then I know what goes in them. It’s not full of processed food, and it’s interesting to learn how to make things taste good. I am also constantly trying to find ways to make vegetables taste good especially while living with someone who would rather not have to eat them. I like trying out baking recipes that are a bit healthier by using other types of sweeteners or non-dairy products. I try to not consume “empty calories” from juice and alcohol and candy, and I also avoid fast food as much as I can.

That being said, I have no idea what the ideal diet looks like for my body, so I am learning to accept that and be okay with occasionally eating something that isn’t so healthy. There is no reason to beat yourself up for wanting to have a beer out on the lake with your family, just have it in moderation and don’t do it every day all day.

Another option that I have been dying to try is to actually invest in seeing a nutritionist and to get a blood analysis done. I think it’s always worth learning more about your own body so you stop trying to figure it out among the chaos on the internet. And after learning about how my body might be malnourished, I still have the control to decide what I would like to keep eating and what I might eat less of.

Conclusion

There are so many choices that we have to make each day. Not only about what we will eat, but just anything – what to wear, when to leave for work, how to do your hair, etc. So every time you eat, you are making a choice and it should be one that you feel good about. I think if you at least stop to take a moment about how you feel about your choice, you will feel much better about it. This includes allowing yourself to indulge once in a while – it will be much easier to accept when you realize you’ve been making healthy choices as much as possible. Don’t dwell on mistakes you might make along the way, just keep moving forward.

I remember reading something once that said we tend to self-sabotage when we feel guilty about something. The example they gave was after we eat a pizza, we feel bad then have a beer and ice cream and chocolate and another beer just because we messed up and deserve to just keep messing up. They said to just let the pizza go and have a healthy breakfast the next day to break the cycle. For some reason we think we have to eat clean and healthy all the time for every meal in order for us to be doing it “properly.” I think it’s just important to keep moving forward, be aware of your choices, and do what feels right for your body.

Let Your Ideas Flow

A good friend once told me that the best way to write something was to just write without going back to re-read what you put down. She said that once you stop to go back, you will disrupt your flow and not be able to get back into it. I always need to remind myself to trust the process instead of constantly doubting what I’m doing. I believe this concept applies to more than just writing.

Self-doubt is a killer when it comes to creativity in my opinion. The more your process or flow gets interrupted the less likely your brain can fully finish a concept. That is something that I have been working on for a few years now with any form of creativity. It’s so easy for me to go back and change something immediately or to stop altogether and never go back. This is the main reason that I don’t paint or draw as often as I would like to – which is funny because the more often you paint or draw, the better you will get. I think I depend too much on instructions and doing things the right way sometimes and I don’t leave room for my own thoughts and opinions. I think what stopped me in the past is when my friends in school would comment that my art is “weird and doesn’t make sense,” or that it’s “too abstract.”

This may sound easy to get over, but it’s so nice when people can appreciate the creativity you put into your art work. This is a prime example of why you shouldn’t take things personally, because there are billions of different styles of art work in the world and it’s one thing that absolutely does not have a right or wrong answer. Yes, there are courses on writing, drawing and all sorts of genres of art… but as soon as you finish your own piece of work it doesn’t matter what all the rules are of certain colours that go together, or certain ideas that flow in an article.

There must be a reason why using art therapy is so popular. It’s something that provides an open space for non-judgement, and allows you to understand yourself in a new way in whatever form that may be. I think it would be especially useful for people who don’t think they are creative. You don’t have to be able to paint a self-portrait to be a good artist. It can come in all forms – some people are good at taking pictures, whereas some are good at motivational speaking. The only thing that gets in the way is self-doubt.

So whatever way you want to let your creativity out, I encourage to start and don’t look back and criticize. It’s not so much the end result that you should be focusing on, try to enjoy what you are experiencing in the moment and perhaps every once in a while you’ll have created something you are really truly proud of.

Source: https://www.ronitbaras.com/family-matters/parenting-family/handy-family-tips-5-kids-artwork/

The Circle of Life – Laundry Edition

Something occurred to me the other day. I was cleaning the house and putting in the laundry then I thought to myself… why does life seem to be mostly sleeping, cleaning and eating? Will I look back at my life and remember all the good times when I did the dishes? Then I got really deep – “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?!”

Seriously though, we spend about 8 hours sleeping, then a few hours eating, and 8 hours working for a lot of us, then a couple hours cleaning our environment or ourselves. It’s funny because most people consider a fulfilling life to look like a lot of highlight reels going around on instagram right now. You’ll see people skydiving, hiking alps, skiing, bouldering etc… but this is such a minor part of their lives. For most people anyways… but it’s weird when you realize everything else they did that day. First they slept, ate some food, showered and got ready, washed their dishes if they weren’t too lazy, maybe drove for hours and hours and took a nap at that point, went through getting rentals or what have you… Then took a super cool looking picture.

So why do we focus so much on wild things we should be doing “like everyone else”? Most of our lives consist of routine, everyday tasks so we might as well enjoy it. I’ve considered making a post saying “I washed, dried, AND folded all of my laundry today, I hope you can too! We are in this together!” but I guess that’s a little strange to most people. All the necessary cleaning that goes on seems like such a chore, especially after such a long day. I can’t even imagine how it feels with kids. So I have a few thoughts to consider in how to make the most of your life and come to accept the tasks it consists of.

Laundry – the never ending cycle

Why do we do laundry? Well it makes our clothes smell good, gets rid of dirt etc that has been collected throughout the day, and gives us confidence when we are walking out the door. So there you go, we do laundry in order to feel better about ourselves.

Dishes – the worst

Why do we do dishes? Well it allows us a vessel to put food and beverages in, and to be able to make fun food creations also known as meals. It’s a lot nicer to have a satisfying shiny plate to eat off of rather than a well-used one. It’s like creating a blank canvas for the endless possibilities of food consumption. Exciting… isn’t it?!

Vacuuming – the easiest form of physical activity

Why do we vacuum? Well it cleans the floor so we can walk around without socks on. Very liberating… but also it’s like playing Pac-Man, you can see all of the items on the floor so you’re able to chase it around until it gets eaten by the vacuum. Having fun goals like these is the most motivating way to get you moving around the house. Not to mention you need to turn your cleaning music on super loud since you can’t hear anything. And what does loud music lead to? DANCING.

Sleeping – priming for the activities ahead

Why do we sleep? Well there’s tons of science as to why we need to so let’s just accept that we use those 8ish hours to prime for the day ahead. Once we get over the fact that 1/3 of our ENTIRE LIFE is spent rather unconscious, then we can be grateful as to how a great sleep can affect everything else. I’m sure a lot of you believe you will never dance and enjoy vacuuming, however, what if you had an amazing deep sleep and started the day bursting with energy? And you just got a promotion? And you realize you baked cookies last night and see them on the counter? Had it not been for a 10/10 sleep, maybe you wouldn’t quite feel like dancing. But thanks to our amazing bodies and everything it does while we are sleeping, we can be fully recovered and prepared for a whole new day of eating, cleaning and after our energy is depleted, sleeping!

I hope you look at today with a slightly different view – all the things you don’t want to do are actually so worth it and not a waste of time. Have fun with it any way that you can. I would love to know what you do to make every day tasks more exciting!

The Joy of the Morning – Where Did it Go?

Source: https://www.poynter.org/tech-tools/2019/in-praise-of-the-morning-newsletter/

When I was young, my favourite time of day was the morning. I would immediately spring out of bed as soon as I opened my eyes, full of energy and excitement. I loved waking up to the sun shining in my room and knowing that my parents were already awake and starting their coffee. I loved all breakfast foods – breakfast used to be something I needed to have as soon as I woke up. I got to start a new day and choose what I feel like wearing, how I want to do my hair and I would think of all the things I can play all day. The smell of the fresh air in the morning especially in the spring and summer brings back so many memories and can be considered a part of my “happy place”. I definitely didn’t need coffee as a child because I had all the energy I needed. Even when I was at sleepovers, I would always be the first one awake and would have to sit and wait for everyone else to wake up. Going on trips with my family I was definitely way too excited most of the time and would easily wake up early and keep everyone on track.

Now, as an adult, I’ve experienced far too many sleep deprived, stressed out, anxious mornings where I absolutely dread waking up and starting my day. I feel tired, ugly, unmotivated and would rather just lay in bed all day. I don’t want to think about what to wear, my hair sucks and I couldn’t be bothered to wear make up. I skip breakfast a lot of the time now, partially to shorten the amount of hours I am eating, but also to save money. Most of the time when I am on my way to my car to drive to work, I just walk directly in a straight line and I don’t notice anything around me. Not the smells, the flowers, nothing – just dreading about how I have to show up to work and do the same old thing. On the weekends all I want to do is sleep in and go to bed early. The only thing that seems to remain from childhood is the fact that I get excited to travel and will still happily wake up early – the only difference is now I have room to stress out about my flights and everything that could go wrong.

If it’s not obvious at this point, the morning seemed a lot happier as a child. So what happened? You could say as you get older, your energy levels change among other things that happen in adulthood. I think that it’s a result of all of the baggage that starts to weigh you down. Anything and everything that has contributed to fear, anger, embarrassment, guilt, shame, or any negative memory definitely makes it difficult to want to jump out of bed and take on the world.

Now that I’m laid off and in quarantine, I have had a lot of time to think about things. I refuse to accept that my life will look the way it does in adulthood so I’ve been brainstorming how to bring back my love for the morning. I have really started to break down my habits to see how I can improve upon them. This is what I would like to share with you.

1. Phones are for Alarms Only

Yes, it feels good to wake up and see all of your new notifications and to check all of your favourite apps. It’s extra good when you are nice and warm in your bed and know that you have 15 minutes before you absolutely NEED to get out of bed. However, this also runs the risk of all the negative things you might accidentally see on your phone whether it’s news, someone’s highlight reel, or even just the temperature outside. So perhaps if we just don’t look at our phones at all, other than to turn off our alarm, nothing bad can happen to our precious mornings.

2. Gratitude Actually Works

Now that we have gotten rid of any chance of getting negative thoughts in our heads, begin the morning with thinking about what you are grateful for. You can even say it out loud. If you have a partner/spouse you can take this time to tell them what you appreciate about them. Usually, we would both go on our phones and/or complain about how we hate working. It makes a world of difference to just wake up, look each other in the eyes and say why we love one another. But gratitude can be anything really. Maybe you’re happy to have functional hands, or that you have food in the fridge, or that you are alive and breathing! This can be a very humbling experience and leaves no room for negativity.

3. Routine is Everything

I’m sure most of you know that your body functions much better when you stick to a routine. Going to bed at the same time and waking up at the same time helps regulate your circadian rhythm. Even doing this throughout the weekend is important. When I am working this is definitely something I find to be quite difficult. I honestly think it comes down to my routine at night which is also something that I’ve been working on – I might have to make a separate post about this. The more overwhelmed with work I get throughout the week, the more I want to stay up drowning myself in memes or TV shows until late at night when I should really be taking more drastic measures for relaxation – baths, yoga, dim lights etc. More on this later, but for this post, waking up at the same time every day will eventually lead to not even needing an alarm. When I am going solid on a routine and going to bed at an appropriate time, I find myself waking up a few minutes before my alarm every day. This is definitely more ideal than hearing the sound of an annoying wake up call.

4. The Perfect Morning

Instead of thinking about how the mornings used to go and how much they suck now, I’ve had time to realize that I can make my mornings go the way I want to and to figure out what my perfect morning would look like. This is as easy as writing out the problems and coming up with solutions.

Problem #1 – Feeling exhausted
Solution – Stick to a routine, make sure to get enough hours of sleep

Problem #2 – Feeling unmotivated
Solution – Insert gratitude here and everything else will follow. You don’t have to be motivated for something specific every day, as long as you keep moving forward.

Problem #3 – Feeling “ugly”
Solution – Take the time to wash your face or shower, brush your hair, wear something nice, anything that might make you feel better.

Problem #4 – Nothing to look forward to
Solution – What’s something that you would look forward to on a beautiful morning on the weekend? For me, it’s a nice cup of coffee or tea. For some reason, it’s a guarantee that I will have a better morning if I can to sit and enjoy the flavour of a nice warm beverage. Most mornings I am driving or at work while I’m drinking my coffee… both not ideal to truly enjoy it. I also love food… giving myself enough time to make a meal and find time to enjoy it makes a world of difference.

Problem #5 – Tunnel vision
Solution – Stop and smell the flowers. You don’t literally have to do this exact thing, but make a habit of noticing something around you. Stay in the present moment to get out of your head. For me, I need to remember to smell the fresh air and enjoy it the way I did as a child. It’s a quick reminder about all the good things that life has to offer.

I hope that you can find ways to appreciate every day, and enjoy each and every morning among the chaos that can be overwhelming in every day life. We all deserve to live a happy fulfilled life, so why not start to give your mind and body what you deserve. I truly think changing some habits and having a different mindset each morning will only provide positive benefits. If you have other ideas on how to make each and every morning the best one yet, please leave your ideas in the comments below.